Just a standard online opener… I havent really been doing any online game recently… but i started getting more messages than normal, so i started scoping for some of the cuter girls…. this one came across on a lazy saturday afternoon, and i cut and pasted the standard opener.
Burto :
Sent Date: 10/15/2011 10:49:40 AM
Subject: pink marshmallows
Well hello…?? I’m sitting in my kitchen in London, and the sun is out…
As I’m typing this, I’ve just had a craving for a drink, so ?i’ve just mixed myself a virgin mary… Its got lots of tabasco and its
lovely….??Anyway.. I’m off the point….
I woke up a while ago and was bouncing around plenty of fish, i saw the email from you……
You have a cheeky look… it looks like a little girl who has just been busted with her hand in the cookie jar…
or maybe you have just broken your mums favourite teapot… and your trying to disguise the look of guilt on your little face…
??
So, send me an email, tell me what you have planned for your satuday
Chat soon
Burto
Target:
Sent Date:10/16/2011 4:14:24 AM Subject: RE: pink marshmallows
Oh wow I’m very impress of your message ! Finally nothing boring. 
but it is shame that we live in different places 
very shame ..,,
Target:
Sent Date:10/20/2011 11:46:21 PM Subject: RE: pink marshmallows
I want to be your girlfriend !!!
Burto :
Sent Date:10/21/2011 11:08:20 PM Subject: concurred.
hahaha.. lets run away together to the south of france, you can grow an amazing vegetable garden and i will write a book…
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 10:26:04 AM Subject: amazing plan
at night we could drink wine and look at the stars… uuu… sounds incredible I love France by the way I speak a little French 
Are you a writer ?!
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 2:38:42 PM
France is amazing…. I’m actually writing a book at the moment… about internet dating.
What are you up to on this sunny afternoon….?
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 3:08:15 PM
Driving my and my friends going for small trip around Norfolk now we stop to local pub for glass of drink
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 3:45:47 PM
Sounds good… nice enough day for it…
anyway… Get your a*** down to london soon for some shenanigans…
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 3:54:58 PM
Or you can take your a**** in Norwich were I live xxx
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 3:57:56 PM
Norwich! thats the other end the earth!
if we are going to spend time in one city, which one will be more fun? London (the most
amazing city in the world?) or err…norwich? 
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 4:10:56 PM
You will see norwich very nice city.
I lived in London for 7 months it was funny time. Were you live in London ?!
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 4:12:48 PM
I live in hampstead, close to the heath… ive never been, but i dated a girl from Great
Yarmouth… she was a bit crazy…
Are you english?
Mick
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 4:32:48 PM
No I’m not. It is good or bad ?!
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 6:05:44 PM
The best part of your profile… you definitely get more points because you’re not from
England ;-P
Danish?
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 6:55:35 PM
well good to know Do you have plans for tonight ? I am from north Europe from Lithuania
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:01:06 PM
hehe… i spent last summer in Palanga…. I used to do alot of work in Vilnius….
Lithuanian girls are always nice… +10 points..
i’m taking some friends out in camden… what about you?
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:13:56 PM
what? seriously? I’m surprised wow !!! I lived in Vilnius for 6 years
From me you get 50 points because you know where Lithuania is D
I think now I want to meet you even more !!!
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:22:10 PM
Haha, i know it well….
Well get on the train and get your little backside to london for some fun!
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:28:24 PM
Does this mean that you want to invite me to visit you in London?
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:29:58 PM
100%
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:37:16 PM
you always welcome to norwich too
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:38:43 PM
Hahaha if i came to norwich you would have to sleep on the couch, because i wouldnt
want to catch a train home, and i would want your bed.
Target:
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:50:02 PM
Ok you can have my bed if you want i can sleep on couch:P but I think at night you will come to see my and cuddle me and probably you stay till morning
Burto :
Sent Date:10/22/2011 7:52:35 PM
I dont know about that… you lithuanian girls are all cheeky little scamps…
you will complain about the pillow being lumpy, or being cold and try to steal my
blanket….
This continues for a few more messages, numbers are exchanged and i send her the occasional text. During that week, I call her one night after work and chat to her on the phone…. I find out that shes really into me, shes read my profile through and through and knows it all well…. I invite her to a ‘Party’* that’s on saturday night.
*Note : there is no party*
She tells me that shes thinking of coming down…. I resist the urge to try to convince her to come, and i play it cool… after a few more days, she tells me shes booked a ticket and shes coming down saturday morning…. I cement the idea in her head by telling her that i had ‘Plans’*
* Note : i didn’t have plans*
I tell her that we will get the clipper to greenwich, have lunch, then head back to the west end, catch the exhibition at the NPG on 50′s film stars, head home for a drink, then head out to the ‘party’.
saturday morning i arrive at the bus station to meet her, and there is nerves…. I’ve been here before… Ive been caught out with girls that look cute in pics and turn out to be complete rotters. Everytime a blonde gets off the bus, i get a rush of emotion…
‘Fuck i hope its her!’
“please no… please no….’
’50/50′
‘even Krauser wouldn’t fuck her’
then a coach arrives from Poland, full of stunning blondes. (note to self – do daygame around victoria coach station)
Finally she arrives and i get a refreshing calm flows over me, as shes cute with a nice body. A low 7. No shame, no claim.
I focus on leading and start dragging her around London… I take her to the ferry terminal, but the line is too long, i walk her along the river toward borough market. to get some food….
some time passes and we head to the portrait gallery and the exhibition i had planned (and wanted) to see has finished 2 weeks ago. We scope around and head back to the hemingway suite.
To be fair, i wanted to take her to Greenwich and the NPG, but logistics got in the way…
I send Krauser a message
‘Come up and announce that the party has been cancelled’
Sure as sunday up her comes and gives a performance Sir Laurence Olivier would be proud of….
“Has jimmy got in touch with you? he’s been trying to get in touch with you, the party is cancelled… etc etc etc”
We go to plan B. which is get drunk. She matches me… I cant believe it…
2 bottles of wine, a few beers and a teapot full of rum and she’s still going… I’m amazed.
We head back to my room and we are laying on my bed…. we are just laying there…..
She looks up and suddenly looks sober.
“We are not having sex tonight”
My expression doesn’t change, i dont flinch, i dont say a word.
“definitely not tonight”
i keep looking at her, with no emotion in my face. still not a word.
“We cant”
still looking straight through her. i stare at her for about 20 seconds, then pull her in and start escalating. there is no resistance.
Fade to black.
Her Expectations
1. Meet Guy in London.
2. Go on romantic river cruise
3. Hold hands while walking along the river.
4. Have a tasty lunch in a charming little gastropub or bistro.
5. Go to interesting party and meet lots of nice people.
6. Return back to his house, fall asleep in each others arms.
7. wake up to home made breakfast in bed.
Her results.
1. Meet Guy in London.
2. Go on romantic river cruise walk toward place where they sell tacos.
3. Hold hands while walking along the river. eat tacos.
4. Have a tasty lunch in a charming little gastropub or bistro. Drink beer
5. Go to interesting party and meet lots of nice people. drink more beer and wine
6. Return back to his house, fall asleep in each others arms. drink cocktails, have drunken sex.
7. wake up to home made breakfast in bed. Go to local greasy spoon for £4 english breakfast.
Lithuania - Done.
