The Cutest Dutch Girl in All of Leon, Nicaragua.

I arrived into Managua yesterday afternoon, the typical find your hostel in the blazing midday sun ensued, I checked in, and went for a wander, I discover that it’s not what I expected, it’s a dirty old, traditional Nicaraguan pueblo, steaming with culture.  Filthy, old, derelict and amazing.  After a few hours wandering around, I return to the hostel (which is now nearly empty) and start making friends.

First is an Australian rotter, she’s friendly but not someone I would want to ever be friends with, but for social catalyst, she’s perfect, we get a drink in the bar and I start chatting to another German couple who have just arrived, who I had met previously in my travels.

In walks a guy and a girl, both young and good looking.  I’m propped up against the bar and I’ve got a circle of people around me, just as they walk in, the crowd starts laughing at something I have just said.

I catch 2 glances from the girl as they are checking in, I Ignore them and avoid eye contact. Later on I’m sitting at a table doing some work on my laptop and the girl finds a reason to come and start a conversation, I indulge her and ask her a few carefully selected screening questions.  My value is still sky high and I’m making sure not to fuck that up.

I couldn’t find a picture of a girl who looked like her, so here’s one of someone substantially hotter,

Hello, Is this Dog?

Later on again, I’m sitting at a table having dinner with him and her and I find out they have been dating for 12 months and this is their first trip together, she’s 22 and he is 21.  They are both Dutch Psychology students   they met at university and it took them 6 months of chatting at lunchtime before he asked her out on a date.

What he looked like

This man is out of his depth and doesn’t know what he is dealing with; he’s swimming with sharks…… Sharks with frikkin’ laser beams attached to their heads.

Everything the guy says, I shut him down and build a bridge between him and her.   Everytime he says something slightly condescending towards me, I turn it around and use it against him.  It was Wilt chamberlain scoring 100 points in a game, it was Maradona scoring against England in the 86 world cup, Muhammad Ali knocking out Foreman in the 8^th round in Zaire.  It was a cocksman at his finest.  I’m not amazing with women, I’m not even the best seducer in my own house!  But in this situation I just knew.  I knew what I was doing, I knew how to play it, and I knew that this 22yo Child couldn’t compete on any level.

Ok… Hang on.  I just realized I haven’t given this story any context.  At the moment I’m just coming off like a cunt, trying to steal some guy’s girlfriend.  Some poor guy who has spent the last 12 months trying to figure out how to make this girl happy, doing everything in his power to keep this girl as his girlfriend. He’s done everything society, his friends, his father has told him to do and it’s been working.  In Holland he has a good career ahead of him, plenty of money, a gorgeous young girlfriend and a world of opportunity ahead of him.

Now some Aussie cunt has thrown a spanner in the works.  He’s ruined his day/week/holiday/relationship.  But why?

The real answer is because I can. I can take his girlfriend away from him, I can divide them only using a few words, and I can build attraction with just instinct and 3 or 4 well thought out stories.

But why do it?  I don’t have a reason; I knew it was a cunt of a thing to do before I did it….  I knew that I was being unnecessarily cruel, I knew that with a bit of work, I could find another cute young single girl and get to work on her.

Fuck you Cunt, that’s still not a reason…. Ok… I don’t have a reason, I just wanted to see what was possible.  I’d had 3 Cuba Libres and was feeling like the dark side had a hold of me.

………………………………..

After 2 hours of emasculating this poor young man, he got the shits and went to bed.  I start comfort with his girlfriend and it goes down perfectly, I run into seamless comfort and she opens up like a can of beans. She’s rubbing my foot under the table, whilst giving me the big, wide ‘me gusta’ eyes.

We find a flimsy pretext to leave the hostel together and within minutes I’ve got her pinned up against the wall and she’s got her hand on my cock, telling me how much she’s wanted this since she met me.  The angel and devil don’t make an appearance this time… Its full steam ahead in my douchebaggery.

I’m happy, I’ve got an absolutely gorgeous girl,  a solid 8 in anyone’s book,  who is completely into me and wanting to fuck.

Her and I both discuss and don’t want to fuck in a street doorway. I actually really like this girl, she’s feminine, beautiful and youthful.  We decide that we will get a private room in the hostel, and fuck there.  It’s not to be, the hostel is full, no spare privates…  we spend another 2 hours chatting in comfort, making out and planning our sexual adventure. I put her to bed with the plan of continuing on Friday when she returns from her 2 day hike.

Long story short.  I’m on a see saw, on one side  there is a guy who I feel sorry for, who just had his life turned upside down by some cunt that he hardly knows, on the other side, I’ve met a girl who is really nice, exactly what I like, who’s well into me….

The Humanitarian/Liberal side of me wants to step back and let him carry on with his girlfriend.

The other (dark side) says that it’s just another girl, that there are no friends in love and war and he should have seen it coming and will learn from the experience.

To be continued.

Another Quality Tall Black Girl for the Collection.

It’s Tequila Tuesday on the island of Utila, Honduras.  A small island in the Caribbean sea, famous for being the cheapest place in the world to dive.  Tuesday is a big night here, there is 2 competing bars open, Tranquila and Coco’s.  On Tuesday nights they offer Tequila shots for 10 Limperas (50 cents)

Utila, yesterday.

This always ends up in Mayhem.  There is a large backpacker contingency here, with plenty of young backpackers around for the picking.  In my 2 weeks here I’ve seen the following.

• People fucking on the dock (part of the bar)
• A Solitary crab walking across the dancefloor
• People doing lines of coke on the bar
• A SoC al ‘Bro’ beating the fuck out of a local for stealing 200 Limps ($20) while 4 people watch –  myself and 3 policemen.

With this kind of vibe, its easy to see why cheap diving and cheap sex makes this island popular with the slack pantied backpacker crowd.

Back to the story, it’s Tuesday night and we’re all 3 sheets to the wind drunk, theres mayhem all around.  I’m doing the normal thing, just acting like a cunt, teasing and making fun of any nearby women, and watching for any nibbles.  halfway through the night, I’m halfheartedly chatting up a little english ratbag, when I notice 2 very hot black girls in the bar, they have a group of chotus’s hanging around them, but most of them look like this :

Typical Honduran Hat-Chotus.

I open her with some type of opener, i think it was don’t i know you? (I 50% thought i had met her in a Bar in Antigua) and she looked a lot like this girl. Tall, Black, amazing figure and a big of a Fuck off Attitude.   I put her conservatively at a Low 8.

As close as i could find… but much nicer hair.

I start chatting to her, making fun, dropping the occasional DHV and waiting for the magic to happen, finally some drunken  fools start making out in front of us, which is all the catalyst we need, kino starts with making fun of them and soon ends up with us not being able to keep our hands off one another.

I isolate her from the bar, to a quiet dock and were in comfort, her 16 yo friend, who she is out with, wants to go home and she asks me if she wants to walk the friend home with her.  I comply and we walk her home.  We drop her off and she tells me she doesn’t feel like going back to the bar, I tell her I have party supplies, music and movies at my apartment, she says “No, let’s go to mine, it’s closer”.

I get her back to her place and she gives me the standard, ’were not having sex tonight’.  No problem, we make out and I let her think she’s got her way…. The next morning, I’m hung over and horny as hell.  I wake her up by grinding up against her, which she reciprocates, i rip her panties off, and its on.  fuck her for an hour, then leave.  I give her my business card, but she doesn’t add me to facebook.

Doesnt make sense, but I can only assume it was something way out of my control, my money is on boyfriend at home.

The time wasting/attraction building/comfort game

What you need : 2 Laptops, internet connection, creativity.

 

I get on a bus from Quetzaltenango to Lanquin, Guatemala.  It’s a 7 hour ride in a shuttle bus and I’m not looking forward to it.

When I step into the bus, im greeted with a nice sight, a cute, young 22-year-old Danish girl.  We start chatting and about an hour in, I invite her to play a game of cards, then after that I explain the rules of the next game we will play.

The Swap iPod game.

I set the scene for the first selection -

‘Its friday night and its around 9pm, you’ve had an amazing dinner with your family and you’re getting ready to go out to meet your friends.  You’re in your room and you put some music on… the song you play puts you in an amazing mood, your thinking about all the fun your going to have, about all the people your going to meet and your already smiling in anticipation. (Can anyone say NLP)

Now find the song on your Ipod that you would play, I’ll do the same and we will listen to each others selection.

I play

She plays

Next scenario is – Your driving along the highway in your car, its route 66 in the US, or the AP7 in Spain, a song comes on the radio that makes you want to dance, sing and tap your hands on the steering wheel.  A la John Candy in ‘Planes trains a automobiles’.

Mess Around

I play

She plays

Next round –  It’s Sunday morning, you wake up and put on your burgundy terry towling dressing gown and your brand new slippers.  You walk into the kitchen of your house, you check the refrigerator and pull out eggs, bacon, sausages and tomato.  You start cooking breakfast and you play this song, it makes you forget the slight hangover you have from last night.

Chateau Hampstead, Sunday.

I play -

She plays

Next round – A song on your Ipod that gives you goosepimples.

I play -

She plays

As you  can see, it goes on and on for another 20 rounds… we played this game for about 3 hours. every time the scenarios became more and more descriptive, with loads of NLP.  It was pretty awesome… By the time we got to the hostel, I had her wrapped around my little finger.

Alas it wasnt to be, the hostel I arrived at was full of mid 20′s drunken douchbags who were hell-bent on validating and supplying all the neccesary attention her mind needed.    But simply as a comfort tool, I think it’s amazingly good.

The Beach Boys are Full of Shit

Why are the beach boys full of shit?

I’m out at my local bar in Antigua and its a dry night… there’s not much happening and I’m drinking with my boys, there is very few women around, suddenly 2 birds roll in, a Guatemalteca and an american (Californian), both mid 20′s.  I open and start a conversation with the yank,  and she’s responsive, her friend not so much, she dispenses with my buddy, and im left with the yank, I FB close, and leave the bar.

A few days later i see her online and start a conversation, and we agree to meet in the central parque  for a chat, during the chat i just lay down simple groundwork, dhv’s and preselection stories, i find out that she’s massively into me, and starved of decent men because she’s lived in Guatemala for the last 6 years.  We organise day 2 that afternoon, beers and pizza in a local bar later on that week.

That date rolls around and its as expected, her laughing at my jokes, paying for the drinks and her hands all over me.

Note : I didn’t mention : Shes not that hot.  high 6, low 7. American… Urgh.

I’m meant to cook her dinner at her place that week (read: fuck her) but instead I’m working a different target (guatemalan) from my Spanish school.  Normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but it when i add the Guatemalan to my facebook I find out that they are friends.  I’m obviously more interested in the cute Guatemalan so I ignore the yank for a couple of weeks, after I realise that there’s no chance of fucking the guatemalan (the final moment of fingering in her car was too much for her) I decide to fuck the yank.

A message is made and an invitation to her house is offered that weekend.  I arrive to her place and she jumps on me instantly, but before that during conversation, she asks me if I brought condoms.  What the fuck. What a fucked up question.  She didn’t even want to play the game, she offered no resistance at all… Suddenly my urge to fuck this girl dissapeared.

But… I’m here… may as well make the best of it…. i decide to get really baked. both of us actually, so stoned that it was a completely weird and surreal experience.  I finish in her hair, without telling her and she goes mental.  I roll over and go to sleep and leave early the next morning.

‘I wish they all could be California girls’

Fuck that noise.

So close……

I had a sexy little Guatemalteca in my bed last night, telling me how much she wanted to fuck me….. IF… she wasnt on her period.

She was begging me to stay in Antigua a few days more so I can finish the job….

I need this flag… I refuse to leave Guatemala until I have it in my collection…..

Decisions decisions….Do i stay in this bloody town I’ve been in for a month, or do i get the fuck out of dodge and see some more of this amazing country….?